I get this pretty frequently- Is there a such thing as a platonic arrangement? How do I find a platonic arrangement? How much of an allowance can I get in a platonic arrangement? The list of questions goes on and I will try to answer them to the best of my ability.
The platonic arrangement is a growing market because it brings along what I like to call “The Girlfriend Experience.” In case you don’t know what that is, I’ve added a link if you want to read about it. This is a term I’ve coined in relation to arrangements. What a sugar baby is giving her sugar daddy.
1. What is a platonic arrangement?
A platonic arrangement is one without sexual favors. It is companionship only. However, it IS still a mutually-benificial relationship you just have to learn how to spark his interests in different ways.
2. Are there real platonic arrangements and have I ever been in one?
Yes and yes. I have seen several girls in non-sexual relationships with their sugar daddy. I have been in several myself. My most successful is with Mr. Boring. We have been together for over a year and my allowance is anywhere from 4-10K a month (plus my car he bought me). See? These types of arrangements are very much possible.
3. What type of allowance should you expect with a platonic sugar daddy?
Allowances vary. I cannot give an average range on any type of arrangement because they depend on so many different circumstances. How often do you see him a month? Is it local or do you travel? What is his income? Is he married? Is he generous? Is he transitional or care for you? I mean I could go on all day here, but I won’t be able to give you a number. However, let me bring up this point- If you are not having sex with him and only going out to free meals and fancy dates…. Does it really matter what he gives you? Whether it is $5,000 a month or $500 did you really have to sacrifice anything to receive that money?
4. Where do I find a platonic sugar daddy?
In the same places you find any other sugar daddy. The only difference is you have to decide upon your approach when talking to men. You don’t want to lie to them or make them think they will get something they won’t. There are two main approaches I advise:
- Be upfront and honest about what you are expecting in an arrangement. Tell him before you ever work out an allowance that you are looking for companionship only (say companionship not platonic- wording makes a difference). Say that right now you are looking for a close relationship where you have someone to go to for help and advice. Someone like him who would really care for you as a person and looks to you to make him happy as well. Honesty can either save you or destroy you up front. Either companionship is something they want or not, but being honest is important. The early stages of a relationship are very fragile. They develop the foundations. You don’t want to start out saying yes we will have sex and then try to squeeze around it after he has given you money. It is unfair and it will without a doubt be a deal breaker for an arrangement that could have been very successful. I feel the best time to have this discussion is AFTER the first date, but before an allowance is agreed upon. This way he has met you, decided if he wants to be with you or not, but can make an educated decision on how much financially he is willing to put into your arrangement.
- The second approach is somewhat misleading and a little harder to pull off. You don’t specify what you are looking for. When he asks about what you are expecting, the go to answer is- “I really want our arrangement to develop like any normal relationship and us figure things out over time. I want to get to know you and I want you to really like me and enjoy my company no matter what we are doing.” This is never saying yes or no. You may not be able to agree on an allowance in this situation or you may only be able to agree on an allowance based on the amount of time you see him. This does, however, leave the door open for you to make changes. What if you actually do start liking him and decide you would like to bring sex into the mix? Can you say PAY RAISE?
5. How do you keep a platonic arrangement?
This one is tougher. You have to put more work into this type of arrangement because if you are not having sex with him what ARE you bringing to the table? You have got to keep him interested. This is what I was talking about when I said The Girlfriend Experience. Things like, frequent texting and phone calls, a back massage, sweet little gifts or notes, ordering HIS favorite bottle of wine at the restaurant, or even popping by with soup when he is sick. YOU have to make him happy and make him want to keep you around.
